The Unimaginable Influence of Wives

The history of mankind starts in the garden of Eden which is described as paradise. Meaning, everything is just perfect or complete that there is nothing more that any human being would desire, except that someone the Tempter who is more subtil than any creation of God will always try to find a way to win to his side through the lust of the eye, the pride of life, and something unexplainably desirable to man. There is something in man about these three things that only his strong faith in God can help him conquer these weaknesses, and only God can save him once he succumb to temptation.

The Lord God who created man after His own image and likeness appointed Adam to have dominion (or control) over all His other creations; and for his food (or meat), God declared, “every herb bearing seed which are upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed” and “to every beast of the earth, and to every foul of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, … every green herb for meat” (Gen. 1:26, 29 and 30 KJV).

God created man to worship and serve Him and to be the President and General Manager or Prime Minister or leader over all His other creations and subdue (or bring under his power and control), and to have fellowship with Him (vs. 28).

The Bible says, “And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die” (Gen. 2:16-17 KJV).

Now, comes the Tempter (through a beautiful multi-colored serpent) and said unto the woman, “Yea, hath God said, ye shall not (negative) eat of every tree of the garden?” (Gen. 3:1). Be extremely careful and cautious with NEGATIVE statements. The woman (who did not hear first hand the command of God) answered first positively, saying, “we may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither ye touch it (negatively), lest ye die” (vs. 2-3). Notice the positive and negative statements, and the added words “neither shall ye touch it” because she did not really personally hear the command when given by God to Adam. Men are prone to add something when repeating a narration of facts. Notice again the negative statement of the Tempter, “ye shall not surely die: (adding a tempting and twisted conclusion calculated to attract interest, sow doubt and suspicion) “For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil” (vs. 5). Who does not like to be like God? (the creator of everything and anything and with unlimited power, and with Him nothing shall be impossible [Luke 1:37]).

And the Bible says, “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food (appealing to the fleshly appetite), and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise (who does not like to be wise?), she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, x x x” (vs. 6). And lo, and behold, she did not die! (at least physically and immediately). Hence, she must have concluded, the Tempter is right after all, it was God who lied! So, the verse continues, “and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat in disregard of the clear command given to him by God.” This will indicate that no husband can resist or will refuse a wife’s offer that appeals to his senses and pride, even at the risk of violating God’s command.

However, because of their sin of disobedience, spiritually they died. The Bible says, “But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear” (Isa. 59:2 KJV).

Typhoon PABLO in the Philippines last December 4, 2012, destroyed and damaged the houses of numerous residents of Davao Oriental and in Comval province (Davao), Philippines, and devastated thousands of banana farms in Comval and Davao del Norte. Our banana farm being managed by my younger brother (Benigno D. Cariaga III also called “Ben”), suffered a 93% damage. From the usual minimum net income of P15,000 a month per hectare, suddenly there was no more income to divide among us brothers and a sister, nephews and nieces and in-laws, for those whose husbands have died already or not available. Everyone of us went to see for ourselves the badly damaged banana farm. True, there are bananas still standing but for those fruit-bearing or about to bear fruit, the fruits are small and no longer meet the export standard. In short, they are “rejects” and these fruits are not even fit for local market. It will take about six to nine months for the suckers to bear fruit and be harvested.

Now, there arose doubt and suspicion (except by me because I have complete trust and confidence in my brother) that our brother-manager must have done or doing something (?) resulting to this lack of income from our banana farm. What compounded the problem was that the share of one of our siblings which is adjacent to our corporate share, for some miraculous happening, appears not to have been affected very much by typhoon Pablo so that his harvest is almost the same as before Pablo struck. How come then that in the same farm which is almost ten times bigger in area, the harvest is just almost the same? This intriguing question sowed suspicion on why in our corporate share suddenly the harvest is nil, not even sufficient to defray the expenses for farm inputs and labor.

In a family meeting in which I was the “presiding officer” you may call it, after listening to the “unspoken” suspicion on my brother’s mismanagement, being exasperated by the suspicion on his honesty and integrity, my brother submitted a ready-made letter of resignation allegedly to avoid more trouble. Everybody was suddenly silent that one can hear the drop of a pin.

Breaking the defeaning silence, I somewhat came to the rescue of my brother who was already turning red and pale and I knew, though he was trying his best to control his emotion, in extreme distress, he calculatingly and emphatically explained that his wife (who was in the meeting and very silently observing) told him to give up his managership and added with emphasis that his decision is final. His eyes were tearful and reddish. Whereupon, emphatizing with the hurt feelings of my brother, I tried to assuage his feelings by tenderly touching his hand and saying, he should not be “onion-skinned”, speaking slowly and in a low tone. I can no longer recall word for word what I said quoting from the Scriptures about Love and Unity, trying to persuade him not to resign abruptly, to preserve our corporate unity. I remember that I said, “United we stand, divided we fall”. I gave as example, the case of the United States of America, that it was only when the northern and southern states (confederate and union) got united by President Abraham Lincoln that it became the most progressive and powerful nation in the world up to this day. Of course, history records that this caused extreme discontentment to some “unreasonable” minds which resulted to the untimely death of Pres. Lincoln. Of course, I am no Lincoln.

To my amazement, his wife most endearingly in an almost whispered manner and in all sincerity and seriousness remarked, “Ben, addressing it to my brother, pagbigyan mo na si Manong” (in English, Ben, give way to the request of your elder brother). Whereupon, my brother, as if the coals of fire in his head suddenly has been poured with cold water, said, “Alright, I will stay”. Praise God! Thanks for the timely and very appropriate words of the wife of my brother. Solomon said, “She (wife) openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Prov. 31:26 KJV). As I write these paragraphs, my tears of joy for my brother are falling.

The influence of a wife is indeed beyond imagination which defies description in words.

The Bible records an account on how influential and extremely powerful a wife could be (Kings 21).

King Ahab coveted the vineyard of Naboth situated “hard (or near) by the palace” of the king. The king offered to buy the orchard of Naboth for any price he wanted, or he can choose any portion of land in his kingdom in exchange for his vineyard. But Naboth refused both offers, simply because it was the custom or tradition of the Jews not to sell their inheritance lest they become financially bankrupt.

The king “came into his house heavy and displeased” such that “he laid down upon his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no bread” (vs. 4). The wife, Jezebel, asked the displeased husband, “Why is thy spirit so sad, that thou eatest no bread?” The king narrated his problem. Jezebel, remarked: “Are you the King of Israel or not? Get up and eat and don’t worry about it. I’ll get you Naboth’s vineyard!” (vs. 7 NLT). Jezebel forthwith ordered upon the alleged authority of the king, to take Naboth, put him in a chariot, parade him in the kingdom, with two hired men accusing him of blasphemy of God and treason against the kingdom. Being a traitor to the kingdom upon the false accusation of two witnesses, Naboth was put to death by stoning (vss. 8-14). Then, the wife told the king, “Now, you can take the vineyard of Naboth” (vs. 15). Notice how a wife can influence a husband. Of course, subsequently, God punished with tragic death both the king and his wife. Since then, no one ever named any man’s daughter Jezebel.

Wives have an unimaginable influence over their husbands. Therefore, wives should be careful in influencing their husbands! Husbands are much like Adam. Wives, remember God said in the Old Testament to the woman, “You will bear children with intense pain and suffering. And though your desire will be for your husband, he will be your master” (Gen. 3:16 NLT). In the New Testament, Saint Paul reiterated and emphasized this command by saying, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything.” (Eph. 5:22-24 KJV). A violation of this injunction (command) of God will necessarily led to serious trouble. Wives should influence their husbands for good things, and this world will be like paradise.

[FGBMFI Davao City Chapter Bulletin April 20, 2013]