Successful Parenting

            I just had a talk over the phone with my first and eldest grandson named Bienvenido Karlo, II who was 21 years old last August 7, 2012 and who has been and still is in Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A. for about four years already. I believe that his father, my son, Atty. Neil, “idolized” me so that when his first son was born, he named him after me. Or perhaps, he wanted his own son to follow after me.

It is just like those many Filipino parents who idolized President Franklin D. Roosevelt of the U.S, during World War II, who named their sons Franklin, or those who idolized General Douglas MacArthur who named their sons Douglas, perhaps wanting that their son will be a resolute fighter and a great hero like the U.S. President or like General MacArthur. Likewise in the Philippines, many have been named Manuel after President Manuel L. Quezon, a bar topnotcher and a well-liked President, or Ferdinand before President Ferdinand E. Marcos was deposed, because perhaps they dreamed that their son will become a brilliant lawyer and undefeated politician who reached the pinnacle of success by being first, a World War II hero, second, a bar topnotcher with an unsurpassed general average but reduced by our Supreme Court to only 96% so he will not surpass the general average of Manuel A. Roxas, an equally brilliant lawyer and bar topnotcher who also became President of the Philippines.

In the earlier decades of Philippine politics, it seemed that success in politics depends on whether one is a bar topnotcher or a legal luminary like Quezon, Roxas, Marcos, Sergio Osmeña, Sr., Carlos P. Garcia, Elpidio Quirino, Jose P. Laurel, Sr., like Vice President Emmanuel Pelaez, Senators Claro M. Recto and Raul Manglapus, the latter two being summa cum laude in Ateneo de Manila law school, to name some of the more popular ones. It was only after President Corazon C. Aquino, a math teacher and a simple housewife who became President by people power and by God’s will that this Filipino political tradition has been broken. Some well-meaning Filipino voters used to say that it is not good to have brilliant lawyer-presidents because they know how to circumvent the law and thereby amass wealth to the prejudice of the nation, so they tried other professionals like a soldier, an economist and lately you know what—the “matuwid na daan” (in English, the straight way). This slogan, though political, is like saying, “I’ll follow the footsteps of my well-loved mother, President Corazon Aquino who was never involved in graft and corruption and who left a legacy of a good name in politics”. The wise King Solomon said, “A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold” (Prov. 22: 1 KJV). These two factors made President Noynoy win the Presidency by landslide versus Gilbert “Guibo” Teodoro who was No. one in the bar exam during his time.

The wise King Solomon said, “That which is crooked cannot be made straight:” (Eccl. 1:15 KJV) In another version, “what is twisted cannot be straightened;” (NIV). Since more than 50 years ago, apparently Philippine politics had turned crooked, but can the scripture be broken? The Lord Jesus Christ himself answered this query by saying, “the scripture cannot be broken” (John 10:35). This brings to my mind, the theme song of the late President Ramon Magsaysay and his wife Luz Banzon Magsaysay, a President well-loved by the Filipino masses, “Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be”.

I was overwhelmed with joy in the service of the LORD, and encouraged beyond words could express, when my grandson Karlo told me that he has been closely following my blog week after week. More so when he said that he has been repeating to his friends, both Filipinos and Americans, what he remembers out of my writings which also reminds me of the custom and usual manner of our illustrious FGBMFI Davao City Chapter President Jun Basalo, of quoting part of my articles, during his President’s time in our Saturday fellowship. I was told by my grandson that his favorite article, which allegedly he used to read and re-read was the story of my historic and miraculous passing the most difficult bar exam since the first bar exam in 1910 which was topped by President Manuel L. Quezon, and my latest article entitled: “Money Alone Could Not Bring Contentment”. I should be careful in my words, for if true that he is following my blog week after week, he will read this article.

My grandson’s attraction to my article on money brings back to memory the main reason why in my youth, I ambitioned to become a lawyer. When I was in High School, I had four boardmates: two beautiful lady teachers who were both single, and two respected lawyers in town who were processing land titles of numerous farmers. Back in those days, the salaries of teachers were paid by Treasury Warrants from Manila, the capital of the Philippines, which usually arrive late because of poor postal service. The teachers would incur debts and used to complain that almost nothing is left of their pay when their salary checks arrive. On the other hand, I observed that the two lawyers were joyfully counting plenty of money every evening. In those days, there were few lawyers and were accorded high esteem among professionals. I also observed that the two lawyers were often invited to speak in our school programs and activities, and, of course, they were well-dressed in coat and tie with Stateside shoes. In those days, because of American culture and influence for 50 years, no one was wearing barong Tagalog, our national costume for men, during formal occasions.

When I was studying pre-law already, at 17 years old, I was the Secretary-Stenographer-Typist of Atty. Leopoldo M. Abellera, a respected and well-known law practitioner in Davao City and province during his time. When he pull out his wallet to pay something, I observed that it is always full of money that it could hardly be folded. And since we occupy the same room, I would see his rich and valued clients pay him bunch of money. So, I thought all the more that it is really good to be a lawyer because lawyers have plenty of money all the time. I was that naïve thinking that all lawyers are like Atty. Abellera. Now I know that the legal profession is crowded below but up there in the sky, it is very spacious, and by personal experience, that one need only to work hard, be diligent, honest and be Christlike in character so clients are attracted, like they are attracted to a restaurant that serve special delicacies and delicious food. The moral lesson is: money more than the inclination and God-given talent is the primary consideration in the child’s innocent mind in pursuing a career in life, not knowing the formula for success in life which is: (1) What is my God-given talent? and (2) what is the need of the community where I live? Thus, one might be a very good mechanic, but if there are no vehicles or machines to be repaired where he lives, this one will never prosper financially. In the latter case, the mechanic should relocate himself to where the vehicles and machines abound. Therefore, as parents, be sure to carefully guide and mould your children’s desire for a career in life. Ask yourself: what is the God-given talent and inclination of my child?

My third grandson, the son of my Junior, also has been named Bienvenido, IV, probably for the same reason as the first. His parents and his only brother are in the States for more than eight years already. Bien IV is already 13 years old. I am alarmed and burdened with the information given by Karlo that he is somewhat a “Bugoy” (in English, a burly boy), because Karlo told me, of the bad influence of his childhood new environment. Jokingly, I quoted to him the favorite expression of Former President Joseph Estrada: “Birds of the same feather are the same birds”, and Karlo laughed.

God has been gracious to me and my wife because, our four children are all professionals: Susan, a UP graduate, a cum laude in her pre-law course and No. 9 in the 1991 bar exam and who is practicing with me; Bienvenido, Jr., who graduated law at the top of his class at Ateneo de Davao University (ADDEU) and No. 12 in the Board exam for mechanical engineers, who is in Chicago, Ill. U.S.A; Neil, an ADDEU alumnus and No. 18 in the Bar exam is also an Electrical Engineer who likewise is practicing with me; and last but not the least, Vilma, a registered nurse in the Philippines, Australia, New Zealand and the U.S.A., who inherited the brilliance of her mother, and working as NPA (Nurse Practitioner) and Head Nurse in a 300-room nursing and rehabilitation hospital in Chicago. The difference between an ordinary Registered Nurse and a Nurse Practitioner is that the latter can issue prescription like a physician. In the U.S., this is very important because, unlike in the Philippines, no one can buy medicine without prescription even for simple headache. How come that our children have all become “successful” professionals? Only by God’s grace and parental example and guidance.

Our children took their kinder and grade school education in Thompson Christian School – a Christian school founded by an American couple, Rev. Arthur and Dr. Evelyn Thompson, who were Ministers of the Gospel and the founder of the Foursquare Gospel Church in Mindanao, Philippines. By God’s grace, I happened to be the President of this school for 15 years. Praise God, Atty. Susan is now the President of her Alma Mater, again by God’s grace. Through Susan’s initiative and hard work, starting from the day that she was elected President of the Alumni of the school, the 32 years two-storey combination of hollow block and wooden materials main building built by yours truly during my term has been demolished and replaced by a wonderful fully concrete imposing three-storey building which will soon be completed, God willing, before the 53^rd Anniversary of the school on November 18, 2012. To God be the glory!

Giving honor to whom honor is due (Romans 13:7), the foundation and most rooms of the first storey of the new building where the library is located, was built through the donations of Lifestream Church in California U.S.A. pastored by Rev. Thelmo Bringas, an Alumnus of the school. All the other floors of the concrete building were built through God’s miraculous instrumentality of then Davao City Mayor Rodrigo R. Duterte in April 2010. Being miraculous, it cannot be repeated, just like any miraculous event. Thus, no one can turn an ordinary water into wine again; or turn again the water of the Nile river into blood; the Lord Jesus Christ cannot resurrect twice, etc. So, those who know the Mayor, don’t expect him to do another miracle for you.

The key verse of the school is Prov. 22:6: “TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO: AND WHEN HE IS OLD, HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT” (KJV). Training a child, or children, is hardwork and needs a lot of money, patience, sacrifice, efforts and perseverance. Success does not come overnight.

Being a Sunday School teacher in our church in my younger years, I brought our children to Sunday school every Sunday. My Junior used to help me prepare my Sunday school visual materials and drawings. They participated in children’s and youth camps. Of course, they observe me perform my ministry in the body of Christ. I tried to follow as much as I could, what Moses by revelation of God instructed in Deuteronomy 6:6-9:

^“6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates” (NIV).

The Scriptures tell us: “You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood (not from adulthood), and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus” (2 Tim 3:15 NLT).

Children should be educated in the mind, heart and hand, and this is only possible by educating them first at home, second, in church and, third, in a Christian school where the canonized Word of God, particularly Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and the Book of Psalms, is an integral part of the curriculum, and where the teachers are “born again” Christians who will do their ministry of teaching with earnest diligence, dedication and hardwork, according to the Word of God, for the glory of God.

One will ask, “what about those who are not educated in Christian schools?” The parents’ guide is the Law of Moses, specifically Deuteronomy 6:6-9 quoted above.

The parents are the first teachers. The father is the Priest of the home. Remember, “like people, like priest” (Hosea 4:9). Thus, the children normally are the exact duplicate of their parents in personality and character. President George Bush, Sr. produced President George, Jr.; President Diosdado Macapagal produced President Gloria; Atty. Susan, like her father, became also President of Thompson Christian School. Be careful then, for what you are will be reflected or duplicated in your children. The church is the second teacher. Then, the literal teachers in school, only as third teachers. This is successful parenting. (FGBMFI Davao City Chapter Bulletin, September 15, 2012)